A few people who’ve been there had some things to say about prenups — some funny, some painfully honest.
You either have a prenup, or the state provides one for you.
— James Sexton, New York divorce attorney and author
I wish I would’ve signed a prenup. The funny thing is that Nick wanted me to sign one, but I was so offended — I’m like, ‘We’re going to be together for the rest of our lives.’ And we didn’t sign a prenup.
— Jessica Simpson, on The Dr. Oz Show, reflecting on her divorce from Nick Lachey
Everybody needs a prenup. I don’t care if you make $5 or $5 million — in this day and age, people are crazy, you never know. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them.
— Khloé Kardashian, E! News
The biggest difference between this and my last marriage will be a prenup — at my insistence. I’ve never seen him balance a checkbook. I’ve got to protect my stuff.
— Gabrielle Union, on marrying Dwyane Wade, People / The Arsenio Hall Show
If you ain’t no punk, holla, we want prenup — we want prenup! Yeah!
— Kanye West, “Gold Digger” — not legal advice, but he’s not wrong
The people above have very different reasons for feeling the way they do about prenups — a few had one, a few wish they had, and at least one is a song lyric. But the theme underneath all of it is the same: a prenup isn’t a bet against your marriage. It’s a plan for exactly one thing you hope you never need, made while you’re both still thinking clearly.
Common Myths, Cleared Up
- “Prenups are only for the rich.” Not true. If you own a business, have savings, have a retirement account, are expecting an inheritance, are bringing a home into the marriage, or are marrying later in life with assets already in place, a prenup can help — no matter what your income looks like.
- “Asking for one means you don’t trust your partner.” Most couples who go through the process describe the opposite: it forces an honest, calm conversation about money that a lot of couples never have otherwise — and having it before the wedding tends to prevent much worse conversations later.
- “A prenup means my spouse gets nothing.” A well-drafted prenup isn’t about leaving anyone empty-handed. It’s about both people agreeing, clearly and in writing, on what happens to specific things — while still providing for each other fairly.
- “We can write it ourselves and save money.” California has specific, technical requirements — a mandatory waiting period, financial disclosure, and independent legal advice — and missing any one of them is one of the most common ways a prenup gets thrown out entirely, right when a couple needs it most.
What It Can Cost You to Skip One
Without a prenup, California’s default community property rules decide everything for you — and those defaults don’t know anything about your specific situation, your business, or what you each brought into the marriage. When there’s no agreement, sorting out who owns what becomes a factual and legal fight that plays out during the divorce itself, often with appraisers, forensic accountants, and months of litigation attached. A prenup moves all of that decision-making to a calmer moment, before there’s anything to fight about.
How the Process Actually Works
- Start early. California requires at least seven calendar days between when a final agreement is presented and when it’s signed — and disclosure and negotiation need to happen before that clock even starts. Give yourselves two to three months before the wedding, not two to three weeks.
- Each person gets their own attorney. This isn’t a formality — it’s one of the biggest factors in whether an agreement holds up years later, especially for anything involving spousal support.
- Full financial disclosure, both directions. Each of you lays out what you own and owe. Skipping or fudging this step is the single most common reason a prenup gets challenged down the road.
- Draft, negotiate, sign — with time to breathe. A good prenup is a conversation with a few rounds of back-and-forth, not a document you sign the week of the wedding.
What a Prenup Actually Does
- Protects what you already have. A business, equity, a home, savings, or an inheritance you’re bringing into the marriage can be defined as yours going in — rather than argued about later.
- Decides property rules in advance. Instead of a judge applying default California community property rules years from now, you and your future spouse decide together how things would be divided.
- Can address spousal support — within limits. A prenup can shape spousal support, but a waiver only holds up if the other party had their own attorney, and it can still be challenged later if it’s grossly unfair by then.
- Cannot touch your children’s rights. Custody, visitation, and child support can never be decided in advance by a prenup — that’s true no matter what the agreement says, by law.
Why Timing Matters
California requires at least seven calendar days between when a final prenup is presented and when it’s signed, plus full financial disclosure from both people and, ideally, each side having their own lawyer. Start the conversation months before the wedding, not weeks — a rushed prenup is often more vulnerable than no prenup at all.
Want the Full Picture?
Whatever your situation — a business or equity you’re bringing in, a home, savings, an inheritance, or simply wanting to understand your options before the wedding — we put together a free, in-depth guide on how this actually works in California, including a section on “gray prenups” for second and third marriages.
Flat-Fee Premarital and Postmarital Agreements
We offer flat-fee pricing for both premarital and postmarital agreements — so you know the total cost upfront, with no surprise hourly bills as the wedding gets closer. Whether you’re planning ahead before the wedding or putting an agreement in place after a major life change during the marriage, you’ll know exactly what it costs before we begin.
Talk to Someone Before You Decide
Every relationship and every balance sheet is different. If you want to talk through whether a prenup or postnup makes sense for you — no pressure, no judgment — the first conversation is free.
Call (415) 523-7969 or email hello@mmocklaw.com.
