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Resources for Children in California Divorce, Custody, and High-Conflict Cases
Jul 17, 2026

When parents separate, children carry a weight they did not ask for. Most kids do not announce that they are struggling. They show it — a slipping grade, a stomachache every Sunday night, a teenager who suddenly has nothing to say. Parents often tell us the same thing: I know my child needs help. I just don’t know where to start. This page is a starting point. Below are the mental health, school, court, and crisis resources available to California

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Why Courts Don’t Simply Ask Kids What They Want in a Parenting Plan
Jul 15, 2026

Parents often ask me why a judge won’t just ask their child which house they’d rather live in or how much time they want to spend with each parent. In California, Family Code §3042 lets a child’s preference count — but only kids 14 and older have a right to address the Court, and most children I see in contested custody cases are much younger. Here’s why judges and attorneys don’t just ask younger children what they want in a

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You Don’t Need a Retainer in Hand to Hire a Divorce Lawyer
Jul 15, 2026

I hear a version of the same worry constantly: “I can’t afford a lawyer, so I guess I’m on my own.” In California, that is often not true — and the assumption can quietly cost you your case. California Family Code section 2030 exists precisely because the Legislature knew that a divorce where one spouse has the money and the other does not is not a fair fight. The statute is not a courtesy. It is a mandate directed at

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grandparents visiting grandchildren
How Your “Right” to See Your Grandkids Just Changed in California
Apr 1, 2026

A 2025 decision from the California Court of Appeal (Balandran v. Balandran (2025) 113 Cal.App.5th 858.) is a significant victory for parental autonomy, particularly in the sensitive context of Family Code section 3102 (providing relatives of deceased parent visitation with children). The Conflict between Mom and In-Laws After the untimely passing of David Balandran from COVID-19, his wife Felicia—the mother of their two young daughters—continued to facilitate voluntary visitation between the children and their paternal grandparents. In most months, the

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stack of cash and alimony note
What “Buying Out” Spousal Support Means
Dec 2, 2025

A spousal support buyout occurs when the paying spouse offers a lump-sum payment to the receiving spouse in exchange for waiving all or part of their future spousal support rights. Essentially, instead of making monthly alimony payments over months or years, the parties agree that the receiving/payee spouse will take a one-time payment and give up any claim to future support, or agree to a reduced or limited amount. Why Divorcing Couples Choose a Buyout There are several reasons why

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How California Courts Calculate Spousal Support
Dec 2, 2025

Temporary vs. Long-Term Spousal Support California recognizes two main types of spousal support: temporary (pendente lite) and long-term (post-judgment). Temporary support is meant to help the lower-earning spouse maintain stability while the divorce is pending. Judges usually calculate it using county guideline formulas, such as those in the Santa Clara or Alameda support calculators, which factor in each spouse’s income, taxes, and deductions. Long-term support, ordered after the divorce is final, is more individualized. The judge must consider a range

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Why the Date of Separation Is So Crucial in California Family Law Cases
Dec 2, 2025

Defining the Date of Separation In California family law/divorce cases, the date of separation marks the moment when a married couple stops living as spouses and begins living as individuals. Under Family Code §70, it occurs when at least one spouse intends to end the marriage and acts in a way that clearly shows that intent—for example, moving out, filing for divorce, or telling the other spouse the relationship is over. The date of separation doesn’t always require living in

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DVRO form in CA family law case
Does a California DVRO Give You a Criminal Record?
Dec 2, 2025

DVROs Are Civil, Not Criminal A Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DVRO) in California is issued in family law court, not criminal court. That means it’s a civil order, not a criminal conviction. Having a DVRO does not automatically give you a criminal record. Judges can grant these orders if they find, by a preponderance of the evidence, that abuse or threats occurred. This standard is far lower than in criminal court, which requires proof “beyond a reasonable doubt.” Although a

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How Can a California DVRO Affect Child Custody?
Dec 2, 2025

DVROs and the Presumption Against Custody When a California court issues a Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DVRO), it can have a significant effect on child custody. Under California Family Code section 3044, there’s a legal presumption that giving custody—especially joint or sole legal or physical custody—to a parent who has committed domestic violence is not in the child’s best interest. This presumption applies if the abuse occurred within the past five years and includes physical harm, threats, stalking, or other

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Tips for Responding to False DVRO Claims
Dec 2, 2025

The stakes are high enough in family law cases that some people may be tempted to file exaggerated or even flat out false DVRO claims. The standard of proof governing DVRO cases is simply preponderance of the evidence – so 51% more likely than not. That’s a much easier standard of proof than in criminal cases, where the standard of proof is “guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.”  If you’re worried about false or exaggerated DVRO allegations, there are steps you

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